Wednesday, April 18, 2007


I have always been stubborn.
Really. I am a vegetarian for, now, 17 years? Because I am stubborn. I was being a brat in class in 6th grade. I was saying the girl sitting next to me, her brand new leather boots stank, they were made of dead cows, something, I don't know what. I think they had fur bits on them, which must be what I was complaining about. Fur bits. Fur is bad. At 12, I did not wear fur. (duh)

My teacher asked me why I was being a pain about it. "Don't you eat hamburgers?"


And I never did eat a hamburger again.

Tomorrow (I was hoping to put this off over the weekend due to being out for dental work on the day it was due) I will be asked to sign, with a witness, a form saying that I consent to my company's new drug and alcohol testing policy, including that I consent to being randomly drug and alcohol tested (the policy says we should expect to be testing every two years)

I have been employed at this place for a little over 4 years. I have been Employee of the Month twice. I have been promoted twice. I arrive early, stay late, and usually am the one to set the alarm at night. I frequently work from home in the evening.

I am clearly a threat.

I had to think about this one. The policy is clear that you will be terminated for refusing. I kind of don't see that happening, at least not immediately, but I have to consider it a given anyway. I figure that most likely they will pressure me, realize I won't sign it, and then quietly try to figure out how long it will take to get caught up on how to do my job and replace me.

The reason for all of this is supposedly tied into some Homeland Security C-TPAT bullshit for importers. You know, the terrorists. They love their dress pants, they do. I know, it's for UHMURKA, I should not question it. Civil rights are for people who hate our freedom. Or something.

Here's the way I see it:
1.) I have a contract with my employer. I give them work, good work, and I give them time, and talents. In return, they give me money. End of story. I don't give them my whole life, my off hours, or my medical information. It's none of their goddam business, as long as I fulfill my half of the contract. And I do, I fulfill it well enough to be recognized, as noted above. If I go on a coke bender every night after work and show up every morning and do my job well, that's MY business.
2.) I do not drive a forklift, or control air traffic. I do not do surgery, or answer 911 calls. I sit in front of a computer and draw pants and tell China what to do and solve problems for our customers. Occasionally I explain computers or very simple scientific principles to my boss.
3.) Drug testing procedures are really icky and invasive. I'm totally disgusted that they even asked.
4.) They expect us to give them a list of every prescription and non-prescription drug we've taken in the past two weeks when we get randomly tested. Um, hello, complete invasion of privacy and potential for abuse? That's ok, it will be "confidential." Your name won't be attached, only your social security number. (How stupid are these people? I would rather give my name!)
5.) You just really cannot do drug testing in the fashion industry. Duh.
6.) I don't even like this job.

For the record, of course, no, nothing would come up but the advil I just took this afternoon (which is not working). But, again, I am stubborn. I have wondered, though, if this were a dream job, and they asked this, would I be able to be so stubborn?

Have you ever been asked to drug test for a job that didn't really need it? What did you do?

1 comment:

Charles said...

Don't do it. Don't piss in a jar unless you can watch your boss, or your bosses boss, or whomever stated this policy do the same.

fair is fair.

and send some more $$ to the ACLU

and if they decide to can you? as long as I have a home, you do too.