Oh, Albuquerque, you SO CRAZY

Oh my.

I sent my beloved Sidis out a few weeks ago (this is taking much too long for me, a daily motorcycle commuter) to be re-soled.
I've been wearing my M4s every day instead, which are hugely uncomfortable, take ten minutes of pushing and pulling and grunting to get on and off, and are slightly dangerous since I can not feel the controls or get them under the shift lever, but that's OK because I know UPS is scurrying those Sidis back to me!

Except I think my Sidis are in a ditch in New Mexico right now:

How often do trains derail, really?

There is no Ice Cream on Ice Cream Grade :(

We decided to go for a ride today.
Paul wanted to ride a dirt road to Mount Madonna. I protested by laying the dirt as soon as the pavement ended.

From 2009

I had taken care to choose a nice, scenic spot to wash out my front end, so we sat and made some phone calls and enjoyed the scenery, then turned around and went back to paved roads.


Then we did something like Summit to Zayante, to Mt Hermon Road so we could go to Santa Cruz for Crepe House goodness, then 9 to Alba to Empire Grade, to Ice Cream Grade, where I pulled out at the corner to animatedly beg Paul to pull a yellow jacket out of my jacket, where it had been stinging me repeatedly. (hooray) After some pouting, I really did want Ice Cream for my owie, but the best I could do was to ride Ice Cream Grade, to Pine Flat, back to Empire Grade, to Felton Empire Road, to 9 through Boulder Crick, down Bear Creek Road, then home.

Crashing and getting attacked by yellow jackets made me think I should really cut my losses and go home before something really bad did happen, so I am glad to be home safely, but I don't understand why there is no margarita in my hand!

New Years Eve! Woo.

So, how was my New Years?

I had been asked if I'd work New Years Eve, a few months back, and since we didn't really have big plans, I agreed. I had not worked at the Glass Cat or Bondage-A-Go-Go since, you know, "back in the day" when it was the Trocadero and it smelled like shit and we loved it.

The Glass Cat is a nice renovation, and overall the club smells nicer, except... ah, yes, the area near the mens'restroom still smells like the old days. How quaint. Really, though, a nice club, though I missed the old place.

Not the most exciting New Year's Eve on record, so I was glad when I was finally let off of work. Only to find that, yays, my bike wouldn't start. So at 2:30 in the morning, I texted Paul and told him, and tried to think of what to do. New Years Eve= no cabs, anywhere. Drunks, everywhere. The security staff at this particular club was not staffed with anyone I would consider able to help me. (It was around this time I began to really wish we'd had New Years Eve at the DNA, where I could have gotten help) The end result was that Paul hauled himself out of a warm, cat filled bed to ride up amongst all the New Years' drunks at 3 in the morning on one of the coldest nights of the year. It was "The Awesome." We got home around 4:30 in the morning after Paul arrived on his shining steed and rescued me in minutes of work, shaming all other men in the Greater Bay Area.

It's only sort of funny that I had been mentioning earlier that day that I noticed my bike didn't like to start up like it used to. Ha ha ha. Damn, so the SV needs at least a new battery. I rode it to work Saturday night, and the ride back nearly killed me because I couldn't run my electric vest. I literally had to pull off the road and thaw my fingers out by removing my gloves and shoving my hands down my pants for ten minutes. That was the coldest ride I think I've ever had, and I think proof that the electric vest keeps your extremities more comfortable by heating your core. Anyway, damn.

I've been thinking a lot about imperfection lately, and today is the right day for this thought to be posted.

Maybe this is where my low stress level comes from when planning wedding stuff. Someone asks about linens and I just don't care.
Really? I do not want a Perfect Day for my wedding. Perfect days get filed into the unknown.

The other day, Paul and I rode by the Cycle Gear in San Jose on our way back from something. Every time I go by, I think of the time Charles and I got stuck there. He lived in the neighborhood, and he'd help me work on my bike all the time, so we must have gone there a lot in those days. But I only remember one time, when we got whatever we came for, then returned to the Mighty Festiva, where Charles promptly broke the key off in the ignition. He was pretty unhappy with this. We had to wait for someone to come save us, and in the meantime, Charles was not happy. We went to the bizarro grocery store in the strip mall, and bought a small plastic motorcycle to play with while we waited. It must have cost a whole dollar.

One time, we rode to Los Angeles together. That was memorable, but what was really memorable was when we got to the Grapevine and realized there was no brake fluid in my bike. Well, none that could be seen. And the screws holding the reservoir shut were completely chewed. Charles was apparently slightly terrified. We did make it to the Motel 6 at just off of Hollywood Blvd (you could see Frederick's from the window) without catastrophe, but it was a good story later. You know what would have been a boring story? "One time, Charles and I rode over the Grapevine with perfectly functioning brakes." When we got the the Motel 6, there was an ambulance outside already-- it was a "colorful" neighborhood, and only the finest of hotels.

When Charles had cancer, I would come and visit during the time in his chemo cycle when he was most able to eat (comparatively, but still felt like shit) We'd go eat at the Mexican joint, then go back to the house so he could throw up. Then? Ice Cream! Always throw up so you can have ice cream too!

When you are with the right people, in the right place, perfection isn't necessary. You know everything will be OK, and this will all come out as a good memory someday. I'm sure that we've had plenty of perfectly passable times together, but I simply don't remember them all that well. What I remember most, what I recount to others the most, is all the insanely stoopid things we did and broke and crashed and muddled through. The time we paid the carnie $5 to let us ride the zipper over and over again even though we were completely blotto, all the times Charles rescued me when my ratbike was broken on the side of the road, or bumpstarted my reluctant DR350. When he and his bike slid backwards on a trail into me and my bike, wrapping the four of us into a tangled mess, gas burns and all! Hooray for disgusting burns!

At least the burns are memorable (if not scarring)
I have a vague notion that we must have ridden many perfect miles, but they aren't the miles I'll tell my grandchildren about.

Sad

Apparently, fear of terrorists has canceled the Dakar Rally for the first time in 30 years.

This makes me really sad.

If we are worried about terrorists starting to take hold in a "largely peaceful Islamic republic"," is it really the right answer to stop engaging? Shall we turn our backs and shut them out, and hope that our isolation will produce a more peaceful people?

Dakar is one of the few great races of the world, and it is a real shame to let this cancel.

Endurocross

This year, we returned to Las Vegas to watch Endurocross, which is easily the most exciting motorcycle race in this country.

you haven't been? Well, you are missing out. Really.
and next year there will be races in other cities, so you don't even have to go to the hell that is Las Vegas.




the weather in Las Vegas was nice-- not hot, not cold. Now that I'm not going to Vegas twice a year for work, I actually thought it might be fun. Basically, everything in Las Vegas is an aberration, and a complete and utter ripoff. Casinos want $4 for a bottle of water. Rooms in the resorts are several hundred dollars a night. But? No worries, we stayed at the Imperial Palace.

the Imperial Palace is right across from Caesers on the Strip, but it costs about a third of what the surrounding places do. It's a dump, for sure, and the casino floor is very old-Vegas. Their selling point is their "Dealertainers," card dealers who double as celbrity impersonators. They are truly awful. It was a fun game to try to guess who they were supposed to be, and then wait for them to belt out a number for confirmation. I applaud their acceptance of diversity and color, age, and taste-blind casting. Are you a 50-year old Philipino woman who wants to pretend to be Christina Aguilara, complete with a tight shirt cut all the way down to your navel? No problem! Are you and old blond lady with an inner Lionel Richie? Welcome! The most disturbing thing we saw in the whole trip was actually in the Dealertainer pit, where we saw Faith Hill dealing cards to a woman who very clearly had a strong case of down syndrome. Yikes.

Again, cheap, no bed bugs, and aside from the very loud construction on the next door room early Friday morning, the Imperial Palace was just what we needed.

And? The view:





We wandered around, looking at fishies (Caesers), drinking (buy beer at a store, it's so much cheaper and you can get decent beer, which is not available in the casinos and bars), watching circus freaks (Planet Hollywood), and collecting "escort" cards. We realized that the card passer-outers take delivery of replenishment cards from a guy who goes by on a bicycle. Very efficient!




Here, we discovered the secret source of the porn cards... they grow on porn bushes of course! those guys must have spent all day laboring in the hot sun picking the crops.




Friday night, we went to see a show. We saw Fashionistas, and it was everything you could want from a trashy Las Vegas show. Silly, self-consciously naughty, and with a soundtrack that ranged from Lords of Acid to Led Zeppelin. WTF?


and then? ENDUROCROSS!!!!
Over at the Orleans Arena, we tossed down another six-pack and got noisy in time for the races. Pictures don't really do it justice, but here are a few:








yes, that is a water crossing. And yes, that is a trials bike in the back. One kid from Gilroy on a trials bike beat a bunch of big names on "real" bikes in an early heat.

Unlike road racing, Endurocross is not boring. I know! Really!
Constant action, constant crashing, a lot of passing, and you really don't know what is going to happen until the checkered flag comes down.

If water crossings, tires, and boulders aren't enough stupidity, they upped the ante by running one race in the dark. Srsly! Baja Designs was a sponsor and put one of their headlights on each dirtbike, and each rider had a little helmet light as well. During an early lap, one guy's headligh fell right off, and he continued to finish, and WIN. Just with his teensy helmet light. Basically, he won blind. Awesome.

Video of said dark race:








Sunday morning, we went to the Wynn for their ginormous buffet. The line was super long, but we had beer. Then we paid through the nose and stuffed ourselves with food and bottomless champagne before heading out to the airport.

Vroom!

We are going to Lodi Cycle Bowl this weekend to watch Clay race.

You want to go to Cycle Bowl?

You have always wanted to go to Cycle Bowl, but never got around to it?

Me too!

Let's all go to Cycle Bowl!!!!!



Weeeeeeee!

(srsly, interested in going? give me a holler. It's an Saturday afternoon/evening thing)

In the "damn, I didn't think he'd be one of the ones to get taken down" news, Craig Hightower died today in Oakland.

OAKLAND - A man was killed Tuesday morning near Chinatown when the motorcycle he was riding was brushed by a SUV causing it to hit a parked car and eject him into a retaining wall, police said.

OK, and seriously, "brushed by a SUV!??!?!!??!!" Cars do not "brush" motorcycles. How a writer and editor allowed this to be printed?!?!? Correction: the SUV driver hit the motorcycle. That kind of bullshit writing makes me really angry.


Craig wasn't a friend of mine, just one of those staples in the Bay Are motorcycling community, in the vein of solid riders you just assume will be riding around into their 90's.

Motorcyclists die all the time (so do car drivers, McDonald's eaters, and skiers, for that matter) and I see a hell of a lot of bad riders out there. I expect it when they go down, and I vacillate between callous and frustrated by their actions and attitudes and impact it has on the rest of us. But there are a lot of riders who I consider to be in it for the long run, more skills, less stupidity, just better, right? When I consider the weight of "motorcycles are dangerous...." comments, I simply group myself with the better riders, the ones who will be going into our old age on our bikes. Some are my friends, others just people I know about. I feel secure(ish) in knowing that there's a sub-set of motorcyclists that the public doesn't consider, and that being a part of that sub-set makes me safer.

But it's not necessarily the case.

There are still hurried SUV drivers trying to "brush" even the good ones. There are moments our minds drift. There are moments when a driver comes up with some maneuver so completely beyond any bizarre or stupid thing we've seen before (and we have seen a lot of bizarre and stupid driver tricks)

And then you're done, extinguished, and in conversations with people who don't know the difference, tossed back into the group of failed squids, as yet another example of why motorcycling is necessarily deadly.

Mysterious

A couple of weekends ago, I got to go to Rich Oliver's Mystery School.
After this year's Sheetiron, Paul was so mortified to be seen with me, that he decided to ship me off to school to learn to ride a dirtbike.

2 Day Fun Camp, coming right up.

Given that the only dirtbike I have is my DRZ400S, I was really looking forward to being able to learn on a smaller, lighter bike. All the students in the Fun Camp ride the same bike: TTR125 with a kick start (Rich sets the bikes up for each individual rider before you get there) These bikes were terribly fun. For one thing, I could finally just step over something instead of having to climb up onto it. Second, the kickstarter actually worked, every time, third, with a whopping TEN horsepower, I was pretty sure I could not actually hurt myself. But mostly? I didn't need that bike to get me to work in the morning!

I am in no way interested in racing. I consider myself interested in dirt riding mainly for trail riding type stuff. This camp was mainly geared toward flat track style turning techniques, and a bunch of races. Despite that, I had a really good time and I think I improved some. I definitely felt more confident afterwards?

There were starting, stopping, turning, and crashing drills (OK, not crashing) there were timed trials, and races. We watched the pros go around, then looked at the corners and talked about how to take them. But there was also a lot of off-track stuff, about seeing, health and fitness, and mental and interpersonal stuff, inasmuch as how it can pertain to riding.

I was lucky enough to go on a weekend where the other people in the class (one of whom I knew, coincidentally) were really nice and friendly. There was a lot of clapping and cheering, which I think isn't all that common for other classes. So yay.

Paul and I stayed in a barn converted into a rustic cabin. There were llamas staring at me in the morning when I got up. It was grand.

Now if only I had a TTR125 and a big pickup truck?
Actually, we went down to Metcalf on Saturday to give it a whirl on my DRZ. Of course it is heavier and bigger, but still fun. I went around in ovals, and on the TT Track, and did not fall. We saw a roadrunner, which I had never seen before. Dirt biking is fun, yes?

Sheetiron blah blah blah

This post is totally late. Paul and I did the Sheetiron May 19th and 20th. I won't write anything nearly as entertaining as previous entries (see 2003 and 2004) because we took it fairly easy. I actually get worse at this every year, and without James to keep pushing me to hard splits, and with the real problem: heavy traffic, I have just opted for slow and steady. there seemed to be about 500 riders, which is too goddam many for me to want to try the hard splits. Most of those guys want to blow through as fast as they can (indeed, many seem to be regular enduro riders who forget and anre not accustomed to riding with two-way car traffic) and that leaves no time and space for me to "try" harder stuff.

Or something.




Anyway. We took Friday off, and Lional and Jason came to Berkeley to pick us up with our bikes. Nice! No riding 4 hours north on knobbies after work! I was good and beer-y by the time we got to Stonyford, and we set up tents and checked in while I drank more beer and got loud.

Saturday was a lovely day, which just meant that Paul was suffering miserably from allergies. Like, really miserable. So we cut out after Ukiah and took the street to Fort Bragg to get Paul into a shower and bed for a while.















































sunday we left early, arrived late, and I crashed once in between. Once is still really not enough for a good Sheetiron experience, so meh. I did break a lever and because something similar had happened to me before, I was carrying spares. Paul fixed it in no time, and we were backon the road. Phil Douglas was not on the ride, so I decided against getting a flat tire. Maybe next time!
The Tank Trapper didn't materialize (never again?) but it was less flat than last year. A few puddles, a few ruts, a lot of pretty vistas.


There was snow at Mendocino pass, but a little less than usual (and a lot less than last year) The weather was beautiful, unlike last year. Dust made it hard to see after someone passed, but was temporary, unlike last year's constant zero-visibility.






















After arriving back in Stonyford, we watched folks fart around a while before finally getting loaded up (and then getting loaded?) and back on our way. Lionel dropped us off in Berkeley around 10:30. It was sooooo nice having a ride up and back, and getting to spend time chatting with Lionel who is one of the nicest people I know. (but, as he noted, not quite as nice as Clay) Lionel is teh cool. Thanks for the ride, Lionel! And the beer!



"Road not Maintained During Winter Months" We missed you James.

49 CFR Part 571.108 S7.9.4, oh, and plus you're a Squid!

Bottom line, officer Mr. Moustache:

I will NEVER. NEVER. listen to a motorcycle safety lecture given by a guy who rides a bike known for it's poor handling and braking, wearing a half helmet and essentially a T-Shirt. NOTHING you say to me, from "do you know why I pulled you over," to the "motorcycling is a blast, but is is dangerous," to the "be careful pulling back into traffic," will register with me AT ALL. I make fun of people like you all day long. "Haha, look at that dumbass wearing a T-Shirt and no gloves on his motorcycle!" You, sir, are a well paid SQUID.

Hello? Motorcycles are dangerous? I am dressed head to toe in a full faced helmet, heavy textile gear of a high quality brand, including CE-approved armor, the best gloves I believe you can buy, and eye-talian CE approved riding boots. Every bit of me is covered. You? Might as well ride naked. Except you've got big boots. Yay for you. You'll have no face and no arms and a ton of roadrash when you crash, but at least you'll be able to walk home. Have fun picking that short-sleeved polyester shirt out of your skin. Nevermind, it will probably be melted in.

"When someone changes lanes on you, you won't be able to stop. You just won't." Um? Speak for yourself, jackass! I'm not the dipshit riding the 4 million pound Harley. YOU won't be able to stop.

Finally, the last reason I won't listen to the rest of your lecture? You're flat out wrong. Headlight modulators ARE legal, and the fact that you don't know that means I don't respect the law portion of you lecture either. I always figured cops would just respect me a little more for taking the effort to be visible and use my LEGAL modulator for such. Not you! You're offended, self-righteous, and most importantly, WRONG. It was funny that you gave such detail about how and when and how many feet. All those incredible details that YOU MADE UP.

"I wasn't aware of that, officer. I was not aware that they were illegal." Specifically, I WAS aware that they ARE legal, but will get a sense of satisfaction when I hand the judge a bit of legal code in court making you look like an ass. Oh, and it is federal code, not CVC. So good luck with that.

Title 49 USC 30103(b1) (US Codes) prohibits any state from forbidding a system that conforms to FMVSS 108.

S7.9 Motorcycles. Each motorcycle shall be equipped with a
headlighting system designed to conform to the following requirements.
S7.9.1 A motorcycle manufactured before September 1, 2000, may be
equipped with--
(a) A headlighting system designed to conform to SAE Standard J584
Motorcycle Headlamps April 1964, or to SAE Standard J584 April 1964 with
the photometric specifications of Figure 32 and the upper beam
aimability specifications of paragraph S7.9.3; or
(b) One half of any headlighting system specified in S7.1 through
S7.6 which provides both a full upper beam and full lower beam. Where
more than one lamp must be used, the lamps shall be mounted vertically,
with the lower beam as high as practicable.
S7.9.2 A motorcycle manufactured on or after September 1, 2000,
shall be equipped with--
(a) A headlighting system designed to conform to SAE Standard J584
Motorcycle Headlamps April 1964 with the photometric specifications of
Figure 32 and the upper beam aimability specifications of paragraph
S7.9.3; or
(b) A headlighting system that conforms to S7.9.1(b).
S7.9.3 The upper beam of a multiple beam headlamp designed to
conform to the photometric requirements of Figure 32 shall be aimed
photoelectrically during the photometric test in the manner prescribed
in SAE Standard J584 OCT93 Motorcycle Headlamps.
S7.9.4 Motorcycle headlamp modulation system.
  S7.9.4.1 A headlamp on a motorcycle may be wired to modulate either
the upper beam or the lower beam from its maximum intensity to a lesser
intensity, provided that:
(a) The rate of modulation shall be 240 40
cycles per minute.
(b) The headlamp shall be operated at maximum power for 50 to 70
percent of each cycle.
(c) The lowest intensity at any test point shall be not less than 17
percent of the maximum intensity measured at the same point.
(d) The modulator switch shall be wired in the power lead of the
beam filament being modulated and not in the ground side of the circuit.
(e) Means shall be provided so that both the lower beam and upper
beam

[[Page 318]]

remain operable in the event of a modulator failure.
(f) The system shall include a sensor mounted with the axis of its
sensing element perpendicular to a horizontal plane. Headlamp modulation
shall cease whenever the level of light emitted by a tungsten filament
light operating at 3000[deg] Kelvin is either less than 270 lux (25
foot-candles) of direct light for upward pointing sensors or less than
60 lux (5.6 foot-candles) of reflected light for downward pointing
sensors. The light is measured by a silicon cell type light meter that
is located at the sensor and pointing in the same direction as the
sensor. A Kodak Gray Card (Kodak R-27) is placed at ground level to
simulate the road surface in testing downward pointing sensors.
(g) When tested in accordance with the test profile shown in Figure
9, the voltage drop across the modulator when the lamp is on at all test
conditions for 12 volt systems and 6 volt systems shall not be greater
than .45 volt. The modulator shall meet all the provisions of the
standard after completion of the test profile shown in Figure 9.
(h) Means shall be provided so that both the lower and upper beam
function at design voltage when the headlamp control switch is in either
the lower or upper beam position when the modulator is off.
S7.9.4.2(a) Each motorcycle headlamp modulator not intended as
original equipment, or its container, shall be labeled with the maximum
wattage, and the minimum wattage appropriate for its use. Additionally,
each such modulator shall comply with S7.9.4.1 (a) through (g) when
connected to a headlamp of the maximum rated power and a headlamp of the
minimum rated power, and shall provide means so that the modulated beam
functions at design voltage when the modulator is off.
(b) Instructions, with a diagram, shall be provided for mounting the
light sensor including location on the motorcycle, distance above the
road surface, and orientation with respect to the light.
S7.9.5 Each replaceable bulb headlamp that is designed to meet the
photometric requirements of paragraph S7.9.1(a) or paragraph S7.9.2(a)
and that is equipped with a light source other than a replaceable light
source meeting the requirements of paragraph S7.7, shall have the word
``motorcycle'' permanently marked on the lens in characters not less
than 0.114 in. (3 mm) in height.
S7.9.6 A headlamp system shall be installed on a motorcycle in
accordance with the requirements of this paragraph.
S7.9.6.1 The headlamp system shall be located on the front of the
motorcycle.
S7.9.6.2 (a) If the system consists of a single headlamp, it shall
be mounted on the vertical centerline of the motorcycle. If the headlamp
contains more than one light source, each light source shall be mounted
on the vertical centerline with the upper beam no higher than the lower
beam, or horizontally disposed about the vertical centerline and mounted
at the same height. If the light sources are horizontally disposed about
the vertical centerline, the distance between the closest edges of the
effective projected luminous lens area in front of the light sources
shall not be greater than 200 mm (8 in.).
(b) If the system consists of two headlamps, each of which provides
both an upper and lower beam, the headlamps shall be mounted either at
the same height and symmetrically disposed about the vertical centerline
or mounted on the vertical centerline. If the headlamps are horizontally
disposed about the vertical centerline, the distance between the closest
edges of their effective projected luminous lens areas shall not be
greater than 200 mm (8 in.).
(c) If the system consists of two headlamps, one of which provides
an upper beam and one of which provides the lower beam, the headlamps
shall be located on the vertical centerline with the upper beam no
higher than the lower beam, or horizontally disposed about the vertical
centerline and mounted at the same height. If the headlamps are
horizontally disposed about the vertical centerline, the distance
between the closest edges of their effective projected luminous lens
areas shall not be greater than 200 mm (8 in.).

Stonyford or bust (or both, more likely)

Somehow, the Sheetiron sneakily came upon us, only two weeks away. All plans about getting in some dirt riding practice, finally learning how to wheelie, or even making sure I still fit in my MX pants have fallen by the wayside. It is nearly here!

this time, I will be taking the Friday off (my boss doesn't know this yet, but how can I tell him if he's never here? More importantly, why should I tell him if he's never here?) so that we can go up to Stonyford in a reasonable time, and probably camp there. We'll see... I don't mind the camping idea but don't want to carry all that crap. My chest protector is already so cumbersome, there won't be room for tent and all that. We'll probably find someone to carry our junk up there since most people take trucks.

I'm sure the weather won't be cold and uber-foggy like it was last time. This time I'm more worried about 100+ temperatures? Ugh, well, at least I can see that way. Last year's weather was pretty miserable, and sometimes the visibility was zero.

It follows that this coming weekend will be tire and oil changes, shopping, fretting.


Someone want to teach me how to wheelie finally?

Brandon's in the Hole! (again)

Friday night we watched idiocracy, which was somewhat funny, somewhat depressing, occasionally witty, and oftentimes stupid.

Saturday morning I went to the dentist, who told me my molar was cracked, and he could probably fix it in a two weeks (but it turned out he can't do it until the end of May) and then I returned home so Paul and I could go to Carnegie to watch the Hillclimbs! Which were, like, totally awesome!

The whole experience can be summed up thusly:



















but, specifically:
-$15 per person just to watch is steep. Way too steep. I guess that's why we don't go every year. It takes an off year for me to forget how ripped-off I felt the previous year.
-it was sunny. And hot.
-There is a fence to keep the specatator area separate from the starting line area. I don't know why, becuase by the end of the day it was apparent that it wasn't to keep people out. Of course the racers were there with their machines and the guys putting gas (and other things) in, etc. But also a bunch of random children, a bunch of hoochies, some guys who were drinking beer, and, in the end, a pregnant lady?!? All at the start line.
-It was pretty funny listening to some teenage hottie-type (I mean she was average hot, not, like omigod hot) lecturing her boyfriend (who was racing) on "where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you all day! I looked (here) and (THERE!) and I couldn't find you at all!" Seriously pissed off. He just looked at her with no answer, cuz, ummm, he was racing. Which, I imagine, is exactly where he said he would be?
-The open class champion is named Dusty Beer. There is a whole team called "Beer Racing." You can see "Beer Racing" on the rear fender of this bike:















And if you look closely, on the front of this bike:



















The Beer Clan seems to be large, but at this pit, you can see that two of them are pitting together: Jonn and Don:

















-I don't think I've ever seen someone who's own dog had no respect for him before. But I can't blame the dog.
-It was announced that a rattlesnake had been found at the start line, which they flung over into the tall grass on the other side of the wire fence. (It was a sizeable snake-- I saw it fly) At which point, a self-professed "rattlesnake hunter" jumped over the fence to, I guess, hunt it? In the tall grass where it had been flung. Wearing shorts and sandals. Genius! It turned out to be gopher snake or something. Which is a good thing, because apparently, if you get injured at this thing, you end up in the back of the "EXTREME SPORTS Medical" Ambulance, where, I assume, they administer Red Bull and blast Limp Bizkit while trying to remember which way to the hospital.
















-Sitting in the spectator area, you get hit with a ton of dirt clods. These bikes put out a LOT of horsepower. I mean, when you consider that these people are taking, like FJ1100 and GSXR1000 motors and powering up a VERY steep hill, in the dirt, just WFO. It's pretty insane. I would be afraid to do this in a level, paved place. I suspect there may be an inverse function of brains to skill in this sport.
-the kids are the cutest.
-This guy has a bitchin' custom tank:


















These photos do not do the hill justice at all. The hill is really, really really steep. And tall. These people are insane.

Dear Sportbike Rider

It would probably be better if you didn't wear such a puffy jacket, so you can actually see the fact that there is traffic piling up behind you. You know, through those shiny things that are sticking out above your handlebars?

Also, perhaps buying a Hayabusa, just so you could go slow while lanesplitting, was not such a good investment. It would be less embarrassing if you just rode a Hawk, and I could just write you off as someone's nervous girlfriend.

This time: vanity plate "DURBUSA"

You're freaking slow.
And you're an asshole for not checking your mirrors.

I know I ride a girls bike, but...

I got stuck behind an Aprilia on the bridge this morning. Another SV650 got stuck behind us. When we finally passed by going a few lanes over, the Aprilia rider finally found the gear shifter and decided to race. That's a lot money to spend on being so slow and stupid.

Maybe he didn't want to speed up until he was on land near a dealership, lest one of his parts fall off?

Does this bike make my bike look fat?

When I set out looking for the SV, I loudly complained that everyone was trying to jack their prices and list all the great mods they'd done. "I just want a stock bike," I insisted.

Well, it was true.
I didn't want to pay for the most common mods, like carbon fiber widgets and expensive exhaust crap.

So, after Christmas, which brought me a few more doohickeys for the SV, I am now astounded at how my bike got so bloated with aftermarket bling.

1.) lowered seat (came with the bike from previous owner. Nice, but my knees are a bit cramped. But with the stock seat I *may* have tip-toe issues.)
2.) Some front springs I already forgot about (came with the bike from previous owner)
3.) Tank bra. I don't know why. It seemed like a good idea at the time?
4.) Suzuki windscreen (replacing the cute but not-good-for-distance aftermarkt flyscreen that came with the bike from the previous owner)
5.) Heated vest plug. Well, duh. I'm not a sucker, are you a sucker?
6.) Used gixxer shock. This is nice. Phil from Aftershocks does good stuff. He also serviced the front, but no *bling* added there.
7.) Renthal bars. Wait, they are renthal, right? This is because I actually bent two other pairs of bars: the stock ones, and the ones Paul gave me since I bent the stock ones.
8.) Barkbusters. Silly, but cute.
9.) Loud horn. this rocks, except when it doesn't. When it works, it's loud and great. But often iot doesn't work at all. feh. And they're mounted up front where they look like big red earrings. Or else, maybe I'm crazy.
10.) Scottoiler. I am teh lazy. And having no garage or center stand, chain maintanence was getting sorely neglected.
11.) Headlight modulator. Yay!
12.) Center stand. Paul says this will make changing the tires easier. Does that mean my mimosa will pour itself?
13.) Givi rack and ginormous topcase. I literally can't see around the thing one one side. But I can go grocery shopping! And bring home all that wine I bought last time I went drinking, er, I mean, wine tasting, with my dad!
14.) I've just been reminded that I also have frame sliders. These are a necessity, what with the SV's crashiness, and all. I bought them at MotoJava, can't remeber the brand, but I have tested them, and they help a LOT.


but god forbid it should ever fall over. I think I need to install some sort of scissor-lift lever thingie on the side(s). that would be cool.

First Christmas Tree!

It's almost that time, and, well I'm a sucker for Christmas. Really any excuse to hang out with my family is a good time, but Christmas is just more. I have spent the past few weeks listening to Christmas music non-stop, baking the hell out of some Christmas cookies (we baked double batches of 12 kinds of cookies two weekends ago at the Turner Compound), and wondering what to get for the people in my life. When people tell me they hate Christmas, it makes me angry. I don't want to hear that. If you aren't enjoying it, you're not doing it right, and that's a personal problem, not Christmas' fault.

So Paul and I got a Christmas tree (a first!) and decorated it at his house. The cat hasn't knocked it over yet, and it has yet to catch fire.

Last weekend we had dinner with the folks (mine and Paul's mom) at Priya, the oh-so-yummy Indian restaurant near Paul's house. Sunday, we went to the International Motorcycle Show in San Mateo. Which was bigger than last year, but a lot of it was crap. I witnessed the ugliest motorcycle I have ever seen, and wouldn't you know, it had a little sign next to it saying that it had been voted #1 best in show? The most offensively ugly motorcycle I've ever seen in my life, hands down. The best thing was a 50cc cafe racer a guy had made so his two-year-old son could have a bike that matched daddy's restoration project bike. So cute. And, well, a whole lot of fun stuff over at the Husqevarna booth! We entertained the idea of dual-sport sidehack riding again for a bit, then jumped around on some ATVs and a Honda Ruckus. I got some stickers and signed up to win all kinds of crap. Which I never win. We saw people, and that was nice.

I'm pretty sure one of those Husky motards will be in my Christmas stocking? Or maybe that's why Paul put the tree on a table, so bike could fit under it...


I, of course, never got around to making Christmas cards, so consider this yours.


Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, quit your complaining.

Progressive

Poo. I had been tooting their horn for the past couple of years.
But this year, despite zero claims, zero incidents, several discounts, and a clean record, they have raised the cost of insurance on my SV650, oh, about *400%!*

If the cost of insuring it went up, I assume it actually appreciated? Or else how does it cost more to insure than it did last year, given no other changes (aside from a longer history of being a great customer)?

Hey, guess what? Fuck you, Progressive!

You know I have never made a claim; you know I have never costed you a dime. It was free money for you. No more free money for you!

Here's how much the value of my bike, and therefor the cost of insuring it, has gone up:

Liability:
Last year: $53
This year: $160
Percent change: + 200%

Uninsured:
Last Year: $60
This year: $228
Percent change: +280%

Uninsured Property Damage:
Last Year: $7
This Year: $25
Percent Change: +258%

Comprehensive (no collision, $250 deductible)
Last Year: $57
This year: $432
Percent change: +658%

Total Premium for SV650
Last year: $177
This year: $845
Percent change: +377.4%

You'd think I got three DUI's and reported fifteen bikes stolen or something.
I mean, I'm sort of flattered that you think the value of my bike has gone up so much, or it's somehow become more cool.

Incidentally, the insurance cost on the DRZ shows that that bike actually *depreciated* during the same period, by 64%. That doesn't surprise me, given what I know about what that bike's been through this past year.

I contacted Mike Felder to come up with a better answer.
I switched to Progressive after I got sick of Pacific Specialty's bullshit. Progressive cost a little more, but their cusomter service was head and shoulders above and better.
But now it cost a *lot* more. Not worth it, particularly since I feel you're just trying to bilk me for no goddam reason. Is the value of your service going up? Have *I* become a greater risk? NO.

Mike tells me that Progressive (and some other companies) have been targeting SV650's. Which seems kind of dumb to me since I ride the damn thing, and, well, it's sort of a girl's bike.
I have to admit, they are kind of "crashy"
Maybe I need a different bike. I am not sport riding the thing, just toodling around, and really, it is a bit cramped. Beemer time?

Well, Mike found me a more reasonable company, but I am giving up that nice customer service. Nice customer service is not worth $500 per year. Nice customer servioce might be worth $100 per year. But for $500, I should get a weekend in Vegas along with it, or they should throw me a birthday party, something.

Mike Felder is great. Everybody call Mike.

Fuck you very much Progressive.

Rollcages are for Pussies

The SRL show on Friday was sold out, and we had to stand in line a lot to see it.
We were standing in line behind some guy and his geek-hipster-(wannabe)-trash friend. She was a late-thirties woman with blond hair and horrible fashion sense topped by a "kooky" hat. Oh, how outlandish!

she liked to talk loud so people would overhear the cool hip things she was talking about.

Fine.

We were standing there in our moto-gear minus helmets, but I'm pretty sure it's obvious we came by motorcycle, which must be why she felt the need to start discussing some friend's motorcycle accident. (People do this to me; I don't know why.) Which culminated in the mutual shaking of heads and smug looks of just knowing better than those idiotic motorcyclists...
"you know, it's just, rollcages are so much safer."
and laughing. smug. knowing better.



dumb. boring.

Listen, you stupid, boring, SAN JOSE, over-the-hill, washed up, hipster-reject, you want "SAFE?"
STAY HOME AND WATCH OPRAH.
This is an SRL show. "SAFETY," more specifically your illusion of safety, is not really what it's about.

You want a rollcage in life? Stay home, watch TeeVee. Don't think. Don't do anything "risky." Please wait here and someone will be by shortly to tell you what activities are "risky" and which are "safe." your call is important to us, and will be answered in the order...

Fuck you pig, I know my rights!

I fought the law, and *I* won.


"dismissed"