I am constantly anxious.
It's part of my equilibrium. If I don't have a project, a goal, a change I'm working on, I will come up with a new one. Something more complex, more difficult, less attainable.
If things get quiet, I'll want to plan some ridiculous venture (endurance rally?) It's not that I'm never satisfied. I am very happy. But there's always got to be something in the works. Several somethings, usually.
If it gets too quiet, I'll start making waves. There needs to be constant motion, at least on the horizon.
And then there are all the little things; the things that are never done. The dishes, the papers that need to be filed or sent, the constant chatter of daily life that is constantly overdue. The guilt is enough to crush me. How can I find the time to file things when I'm a week behind in Chinese, agreed to go to San Jose for support time, working on the weekend, planning a trip to a tiny island no one has any information about, trying to keep in touch with my friends and family, trying to arrange a gigantic financial goal, and playing Katamari Damacy? Not that I'd have it any other way. I feel sorry for people who just plod along, waiting for life to happen. I prefer to bite off more than I can chew, and just swallow it whole if need be.
Paul signaled to me the other day that he knows this. (I assume he's known this for a long time.) Still, it's nice to hear that your insanity has already been accepted as part of the package. Good luck to him in managing me.