Alright, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm dropping my class. Too much to do, not enough going on at class. It would be a great class if I still had my shitheap to work on, but as is, I'm just wasting my time waiting for shiny matching harley parts to come in.
Except, I just remembered I needed a brake pad change, and meant to do that before dropping. Shit. Charles, clear a space in your garage and a few hours to see me!
So I'm dropping my class.
And I'm starting back up on some sewing.... I think. Well, I've just unfolded some patterns, starting small, making the messes I used to live in.
I have a lot of anxieties about sewing. One, I hate the fucking mess and all the space and time it takes. Two, the longer I let my skills sit, the more they atrophy. I used to be good at this, really good. Now it makes me freak.
I want everything to be perfect, I KNOW I can do it... perfectly, but what the hell is wrong with me now?
You used to know how to do this!
What the hell is wrong with you!??!?!
I suck.
That's the loop in my head.
There, now I've admitted it. But I know the only way to do this is to practice, and stop ditching projects mid-way when I become unhappy or bored with them.
Please don't feed me until I actually finish a project. If you see me out of the house, send me home with a note pinned to my chest. If you see me wearing the same goddam thing again, poke me in the eye and take away my candy. Tell me you don't want to see me again until I've made the perfect pair of pants and a matching straightjacket.
C'mon, make me cry.
It's the only way I'll ever learn.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment