Wynn is for Losers

Vegas! Yeah! Omigod, it’s so great!
OK, no, it’s not. It’s fucking 110 degrees in Las Vegas in August, and I don’t like that one bit.

Flew out to Vegas Saturday morning to set up for my company’s presence at the Magic show. This was my third time, and I think I’m starting to get it now.

Saturday, fly in, find my boss, go to the hotel, find the salespeople.

Everyone’s been a little excited about the new hotel. The Wynn! New! Fresh! Fancy! They spent $10,000 on each room! Two flat screen TV’s in each room!
Oh, shit, did we forget the hot water? But you got the TVs, right?

DO NOT stay at the Wynn hotel. (I'd link to it, but their website is annoying and slow)

I’ve stayed in worse places, hell yeah I have. But never for work, and never at that price. That price! More than the Bellagio, on some booking sites.

First impression of the Wynn: lobby/casino: I’ve been assaulted, all senses. Loud, in every sense of the word. Garish; I don’t understand the theme, it’s crowded and chaotic, and thank god the check-in lady gave me a map and drew a path to my elevator. The ceilings are low and I feel claustrophobic. Smell of cigarettes. Ugh.

My room is on the 6th floor; somehow my boss schmoozed his way to the 15th, even though the hotel is too new to really have VIP’s. Isn’t it? I guess. That just makes me feel like I got screwed by not knowing how to work the system. Coworkers who arrived a day earlier got 54th floor and that range. Nice views, in their rooms. I get a stunning view of… the roof of the casino. Incredibly ugly. Lame.

OK, I’m designing a fancy resort, I want my customers to feel like they got something for their money. How about I put in a grassy sculpture garden on the roof of the casino, so the lower room guests don’t have to stare at concrete? Or, I don’t know, a mosaic, or pool, or something? Wow, I’m a genius.

Fine. I can deal with that. The room is nice. I mean, ok, yeah, I can see it. Not nearly as nice as Venetian (which is twice the size) or the Bellagio (which is just nice period) but it’s alright. The bathroom is big, but the tub is a pretty useless shape. What’s up with the moisturizer though? I have two conditioners and no moisturizer. Now, I think I even get moisturizer when I stay at Super 8. But not here! It’s 110 and very dry outside; this is lame. I thought maybe it was a mistake, until the next day when one conditioner was in the shower, they replaced it with… another conditioner. (later I found out that one of my coworkers was getting two moisturizers and no soap for the shower. The guests at the Wynn should all get together and form some sort of trading-union.) Whatever. I expect more from a $300 hotel room.

I shouldn’t, at the Wynn, though, cuz the service throughout the hotel is shit. At the café for our breakfasts, it is s-l-o-w, and we can’t get seated immediately despite an empty and already set dining area. I know, but did I mention that my company spends a shitload of money when they are here? At night, when the big boys are gambling with big money ($1000 chips stacked up all around) they can NOT get a drink. Even asking the dealer, she just stares at them, and they have to track down a pit boss.

But wait, here’s the clincher. I had a swollen eye, and wanted a hot hot hot washcloth in the morning. But NO HOT WATER! Oh. My. God. Are we backpacking in Europe or something? OK fine, I’ll skip it and just take a shower. Again, nothing hot. I wait about five minutes, before making that heartbreaking decision that I am going to have to suck it up and suffer through a cold shower (at my schmancy resort hotel in Vegas) in order to make it to the show. Just about then, the water becomes tepid, and, well, I guess maybe you would say “warm.” Never “hot.” Totally unacceptable, but I have to go. (cuz I know breakfast is going to take a loooooong time)

Buffet: totally disorganized, shitty service, but good food.

Drugstore/Café: some of the highest prices I’ve seen. And, no I will not add a tip if I’ve just been charged $6 for a latte.

HOT WATER! NOT OPTIONAL!

Some nice things:
Daniel Boulud: One nice thing about the hotel. VERY good food.
Parasol Down: Despite the ridiculous one-drink minimum to watch the fountain outside, is very nice. This giant tile fountain and the trees around it are one of my favorite things about the hotel.
Tile: the colorful glass tile mosaics set into the marble floor throughout the casino are beautiful and fun. The tile work in the rest of the hotel is nice too.

OK, so no more Wynn hotel.

It was too hot to leave the hotel during the day, so I didn’t do a lot.

Nice spot at the top of Mandalay Bay (a beautiful hotel, if the public space is any indication) where we took some people out for a (pricey) dinner at Mix. The lounge up there is incredible, on the 64th floor, with stunning views and astoundingly high prices (what do you want? At least it was good and expensive, not bad and expensive, like everything at the Wynn)

The show was fun. Normally, I leave Monday around noon, but this time I spent a full day there, and left Tuesday around 2pm. Sticking around the booth is a little boring, but being in all the meetings with customers was interesting and gave me some insight on how they work and think. Yay! And there were yummy cookies too.