Last night was a new low, and I took a nap after my friend called to say he’d be by later. Of course he didn’t show up at all, what are friends for? I woke up after midnight crying. I don’t think I’ve ever woken up crying before. I don’t know what I was dreaming about. But I’d left my contacts in.
I wish Charles wasn’t overseas; he would take care of me. He would find a way to make sure I didn’t feel so shitty right now.
So the swelling doesn’t seem to be getting any better, so I found my wire cutters and destroyed my ring. Damn, I liked that ring. I hope this helps.
So far only one other person has seen it (besides the guy who picked me up off of the side of the road) and he said it looked like it was doing well. But may have been lying to make me feel better.
People in the office keep laughing at me. I look funny, walking around the office holding my hand over my head. I keep threatening to punch them with my one good hand if they don’t knock it off.
I’m spending the weekend with my mom, and I’d been hoping that the finger would start to improve before I had to let her know. I don’t like to make my parents worry. But I’m not sure that’s going to happen. I haven’t gone to the doctor because it’s a wild pain in the ass. It would take half a day just to have someone else tell me it’s ugly, keep it clean, elevated, ice it… and then I have to pay someone for that privilege? If I do have to see a doctor, I’m going to tell them I fell off of a bicycle. Bicycles are dangerous! I want to hear that stupid doctor tell me maybe I ought to consider giving up bicycling.
What sucks? Nevermind that I’m in constant pain, it’s really the inconveniences that suck. I can’t do things like dishes and laundry very well. Nevermind lifting weights, that’s not happening for a long time. Showering with one hand. Trying to open those fucking childproof containers. Grocery shopping. Trying to untangle the blankets. Work has slowed down to a snail’s pace, and just in time for the boss to load a bunch of work on me. The absolute worst thing is putting my glove on to get on the bike. (Need to borrow a larger pair of riding gloves from someone!)
I haven’t even begun to think about the bike or gear yet. I need to replace a bunch of crap but I’m waiting for the finger to stop hurting. Then I’ll send these gloves back to Alpinestars and tell them what I think of their crap. Tell Joe I tested those frame sliders, they worked pretty well (should have gotten “tank sliders” too though. :( Dammit) Go back to my pothole and pee on it. Collect some blood and send it to CALTRANS, along with the before and after pictures (thanks, motherfuckers). Find the dirtbike bars I always thought would be cute on the SV anyway, and figure out what conversions need to be made. (barkbusters! Yay!)
Eat ice cream in my underwear.
I'm not trying to get on you about the doctor thing. If you'd like a larger pair of gloves I'd be willing to ship you mine. I'd drive them over but I don't trust my car for a trip that long. They're the older (cooler) style Alpinestars SP3, you probably saw them when we rode. I'm pretty sure they're size large and just a little warn in. The thumb is starting to wear through a bit where the nail is, and they have a bit of road rash. Other than that though they're still good gloves. I'm going to upgrade to the fancy kevlar covered ones, I hear they make you faster...
Just let me know if you'd like 'em and I'll get them in the mail to you
Let me know if you need any help showering... :-o
Serioulsy, if u need anything, drop me an email or something...