you figure it out

what does it all mean?????

Do it NOW!

https://secure.eff.org/site/Advocacy?alertId=365&pg=makeACall

Ugh

Ugh. This is not even Disneyland, and already it is hell.

Sent from my iPhone

the girl in the box

the girl in the box, the one you hand money to when you want to get in the nightclub? Here are the things she does not think are cute:
1.) most importantly! There is a line. You have been standing in it. You may have even been rolling your eyes and bitching about the line. Part of the line is standing outside in the rain. What is keeping them in the rain? The speed at which the girl in the box can move them through. It is so not funny that, after waiting in said line, you arrive at the box office and then suddenly realize you need to look for your money, in all of the various pockets of you gigantic purse or over-accessorized goth coat. You had all that time to find your money and instead you spent it wondering why the line moved so slow. You, is why.

2.) "one adult, and one child, please!" OMG, you are so clever.

3.) Any sexual banter. It was kind of funny when the drunk british soccer guys tried to slip me a hotel key, but mostly because drunk people with charming accents are less disgusting than drunk people with no accent. Your comments just make you look like an idiot. I can tell, within the few moments I spend counting out change, which of you will be escorted out by security staff in the next ten minutes after entering. Spending $12 to get thrown out of a bar after ten minutes seems really dumb to me.

4.) After I give you your change, I want you to leave. I don't want to watch you arrange your hair, or organize your purse, or argue with your friend about who is buying drinks, while people are waiting for you to leave the window. Who the hell does this? Your purse is a mess and you're a hideous monster, and no one is going to buy you a drink because you are utterly lacking in charm or grace. Just keep moving and no one will notice this shameful travesty.

5.) Do not ask me what the club is like inside. It should be really obvious that, ummmm, I am not inside. I am, as you can see, in a room roughly 4 x 4 feet. There is a locked door separating me from all the goings-on. I like it this way.
"Are there a lot of people?" I have no idea what a lot is to you. Is 15 a lot because it is more friends than you have? Or is 400 not enough because you know that, statistically, it is only every 401st person who does not throw a drink in your face upon first contact?
"Is it a pretty happening party in there?" I assume you are looking for strippers. There are probably very few inside. And there were some really hot girls, but they already left with some guys who came and didn't waste their time with such questions.
"Did so-and-so show up?" I don't know, and I don't care.
"I'm here for a birthday party." Fabulous. I'm here because someone pays me. Now, your money, please?

6.) I know so-and-so. Really? That is SO COOL. Because I don't. And your name is not on the list.

NTI Hotness

Last Saturday, I went to San Francisco to visit my dentist. My dentist is great. And he has a really swanky office. This is the pond outside of the lobby, which extends under the floor of the lobby with a plexiglass floor so you can see the fish:



I picked up the new mouthguard I had fitted when I went for my last marathon dental session (four or five hours of ripping out old fillings and making new fancy, not-so-breaky ones)

Bruxism, you see, is VERY bad. If you are grinding or clenching your teeth, YOU MUST STOP. Seriously. I had cracked a molar last year, just before I had planned to get the preventative work done. But bruxism is very, very bad. Anyway, the big squishy mouthguards you get at the drugstore are OK to just figure out if you can tolerate anything, but they are way big, and worse,, the squishyness may actually inspire me to clench more. It's like having a chew toy in your mouth. Not all that good. Plus, they get nasty.

The new hotness is the NTI. (yes, I realize the website looks hokey) It is small, and it fits really well. It can not fall off. It actually keeps my back teeth from touching at all, so, no more clenching. It was expensive, but not as expensive as the work I had to get done because I had cracked my teeth.

Thje result has been great. After a first night of dreaming about trying to chew a jelly bean that was in the front of my mouth, I have slept well. My jaw does not hurt. Depending on the war over the next few months, I may actually get the front cut down a bit to make it even more natural feeling (to avoid grinders being able to pop their lower teeth out over their upper teeth, there is a little "rail" thing, which sticks out of your mouth a little when you sleep. But I do not grind.)

Grinders of the world, I heartily recommend this NTI dealie. It is awesome so far.

State of the Union

I am so glad this is Bush's last State of the Union.
My liver cannot take listening to another.

um, hai?

I wouldn't try to sum up my views on how we got to the current economic situation right here, right now, but:

Sending us all a little check is your big plan?!?!??!


Let me get this straight. The economy is in the toilet, rather than investing in our conutry, or education, or infrastructure, you are giving the consumer-whore Americans a little more cash to get another hit of Chinamart goods? Just one more hit, man!

And THAT is your big plan?


I know, your plan is to do something dumb, expensive, useless, but very, very popular. Economy be damned. Re-election!


Hai, mr Prez? Congresscritterz?
I gets a check, it goes to ACLU.
And maybe my savingz account.
I no buy beenie babiez or GMC truk.
mmmmmkaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy?
thx. bai.

Sad

Apparently, fear of terrorists has canceled the Dakar Rally for the first time in 30 years.

This makes me really sad.

If we are worried about terrorists starting to take hold in a "largely peaceful Islamic republic"," is it really the right answer to stop engaging? Shall we turn our backs and shut them out, and hope that our isolation will produce a more peaceful people?

Dakar is one of the few great races of the world, and it is a real shame to let this cancel.

And now for th traditional inventory of the past year...

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

• Saw a woodpecker, and a roadrunner
  
• Survived a company merger.
• Broke rear traction on a TT track... on purpose!
• Explained subdomain MX records to someone who should have known more about DNS than me.
• Got our first christmas tree in "our" place
  

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Last year, I set a few goals, and only reached one. But! I reached the hell out of it! Here's what I said last year:

-New Career
-Learn Chinese (quantitatively: I want to be conversational and understand movies)
-Sew more (quantitatively: I want to finish at least one project a month, and not be afraid to tackle a wedding dress should a friend want me to make theirs. I felt bad having to say I couldn't.)
-Travel (quantitatively: One big trip out of the country, and several short trips on the weekend)

I got a new job with people I really like, in an awesome company, and then that company was eaten by another well-known company very famous for it's tasty food and employee perks... As finding a new career goes, this path totally exceeded what I thought I could do. This one goal, though, consumed the first half of my year with my deep exploration of career and self, and the second half of the year with "oh shit, what have I gotten myself into?!?" I have a lot to learn to be proficient, so this overrode my other new year's goals.

The other three? not so much. But, I do now have a space for sewing, which should help.

This year....
Career:

• Get my PMP certificate: This is something I'd like to do anyway, but my boss is really keen on me getting done soon. A Project Management certificate would help me in my career, if only for the way it appears to people reviewing me on paper.
• Learn basic Unix for Mac (starting this with a book right now)
• Gain a working knowledge of networking, firewalls, DNS, etc... especially as it pertains to work.
  
• Get involved in the "extra-curriculars" at work to create more connections

Other

• max my 401K
• bolster our emergency savings for the shit economy that is in the mail, coming soon
• Start practicing Mandarin on at least a weekly basis
• Spend a lot more time sewing
• Spend a lot more time riding my motorcycles (now that I am no longer commuting on them-- oh, right, I used to do this for FUN too!)
• Get involved with birding... and maybe some wetlands cleanup projects?
  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I have a new niece this year! Paul has a new nephew this year! And two of my favorite friends are welcoming a new addition through adoption!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
None... Despite what Texans would like to think, they are just a state, not their own country.


6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Travel and adventure... we did not go on too many roadtrips or do any big trips. I was wrapped up in a career change.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 11th! I started my new career!
October 20th! We took possession of our new place together!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Scamming five interviewers in person and three over the phone, into letting me work at such a cool job.


9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting time slip through my fingers

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was pretty sick over Christmas time, but that's about it. Oh, and I cracked a tooth (from bruxism)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The whale watching excursion was a lot of fun, and very worthwhile.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister. I am so very proud of her, and all the exciting things she is doing.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I've been saying BushCo for several years, so maybe I should add to it:

• fundamentalists (creationism is a silly religious belief, which I think people are entitled to. It is NOT science.)
  
• american consumers/homedebtors/"victims" You "bought" your house, you signed the docs, and a few years ago, you were all saying the game was just to "make the numbers work." Now, you were all tricked into something, and want a bailout. You would not have shared the profits you tried to realize, so don't try to share the loss. Oh, and you also re-fi'd so you could buy that SUV you "needed" to get the kids/dogs/beanie babies around? There are entire families in Vietnam riding around on a scooter; you didn't "need" that crap.
  
• Bill O'Reilly declared he'd won the "War on Christmas" Who the hell else in the world groups "Christmas" and "War" together so freely? Maybe it's an abomination, but my family tended to to equate "Christmas" with "Peace" or "Hope" more frequently. I guess we were doing it wrong?

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, motorcycle, food. Savings. I did fairly well in contributing to IRA and 401K, but will do more this year. This year, rent will be higher, but food and motorcycle should be lower (now that we are cooking some, and I don't have a commute to rack up miles)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new job! duh! And then? My new job getting bought by The Google. Also, my iPhone, San Francisco, and quite frequently: puppies!

16. What songs/bands will always remind you of 2007?
The RIAA has convinced me I should not listen to music anymore.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier

ii. thinner or fatter?
Fatter.

iii. richer or poorer?
Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Riding my motorcycle. Seeing my friends. Having adventures.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Lollygagging at the house...

I feel like too much time has been wasted with poorly planned days... a few are fine, but too many, and there's nothing to show for it

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with family, same as always.
But this year, Paul and I have our own tree, at our own place. And it is very cute.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I still fall! Every day!

23. How many one night stands?
No.

24. What were your favorite TV programs?
We don't really turn the TV on. But I do like to catch The Daily Show and Colbert Report on Tivo at the Turner Compound.


(what happened to 25?)


26. What was the best book you read?
Working diligently through Pathfinder helped me immensely in defining my personal path

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Again, not at all inclined to buy music these days with all the RIAA copyright bullshit.

28. What did you want and get?
We moved! And I got a job! And these lovely bird song books

29. What did you want and not get?
A bigger tax refund?

30. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
I don't think we went to *any* movies in the theaters this year. I did get to watch Memoir of a Geisha while having dental surgery though, and enjoyed it...

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30 and thought it would be nice to have a lot of friends together. We had dinner with friends at the Beach Chalet (Park Chalet, really-- the brewery downstairs) which was a disaster because we nearly lost our table because of major lateness of many attendees. Once we got seated, all was well, and I drank many the beer with Amy and all.

After, Jennifer, Paul and I stumbled around Ocean Beach and the Cliff House in the dark, which was quite nice. We accidentally wakened a hobo sleeping in the cave, though, which we felt guilty about after.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Better health

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Coming to a screeching halt. AND. the first time I have ever been seen wearing corporate logowear and loving it.

34. What kept you sane?
Paul was very patient and supportive of me while I spend the first half of the year totally consumed by navel-gazing and career-exploration, and then the interview process, and then the hardest part of all-- ramping up for a new world.

35. Which celebrity/public figure(s) did you fancy the most?
I'm liking Obama more every time I think about it.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Now that it is becoming a political issue, I am super-pissed about all these proposed bailouts of idiot home "buyers" who are facing the consequences of their greed. People who lied on their applications to make the numbers work should be facing mortgage fraud charges, and instead are being given my tax money, while they used this fake "money" to skyrocket home prices away from affordability for responsible people. This should have worked itself out, but politicians who have decided to get involved have made it a platform for appeasing these jackasses.

37. Who did you miss?
Grandpa. James.

There is not one day that goes by without me thinking of Grandpa. I still can't imagine a world without him, and yet here we are.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My new coworkers, who are all geniuses. It is really exciting to be surrounded by such brainy, exciting people.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
It's all about connections. Networking matters (and I've become pretty lazy about it these days)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Cowards and Heroes,
listen my friends.
If you have money
and nothing to spend.
It'll make no difference
in a hundred years or so.

Sooner or later
we all make the little flowers grow.

(actually, I couldn't think of any lyric to sum up the year... so this will have to do)

The Gaping Maw

I find this inexplicably pleasing

Oh, dear, I meant to publish this a montha ago. Ugh, well, I will not edit it, but here it is...





Oh!
I forgot.

The move is complete. We live in Mountain View now. I know!

It is the suburbs. I am not a suburbanite. But, the commute will be much nicer, and of all the places in the south bay/peninsula hell, this is the most tolerable spot.

I can take the train to work, as the station is a mere block away.

Taking the train is very satisfying.


1.) The Train
We live a block from the Caltrain station, and I now take the train to work most every day.
I love riding the train. Trains make me happy; they remind me of my dad, they feel so urban, so efficient, so... travel-ish. I lovefeeling the ground shake as the express trains barge through the San Carlos station without even slowing down. and they go fast! Isuppose this is why all those idiots keep getting hit-- they underestimate the speed of the train in their poor last calculations. As a kid, it seems every family vacation in some way involoved trains- riding steam trains through Colorado, visiting model trains and train museums. My Girl Scout troop would ride the train to The City. In Italy, we got lost and found on the train, meeting many charming people along the way. Trains are moving in a way that cars and buses can never be.

2.) the town
We live two or three blocks from the heart of Mountain View.

Endurocross

This year, we returned to Las Vegas to watch Endurocross, which is easily the most exciting motorcycle race in this country.

you haven't been? Well, you are missing out. Really.
and next year there will be races in other cities, so you don't even have to go to the hell that is Las Vegas.




the weather in Las Vegas was nice-- not hot, not cold. Now that I'm not going to Vegas twice a year for work, I actually thought it might be fun. Basically, everything in Las Vegas is an aberration, and a complete and utter ripoff. Casinos want $4 for a bottle of water. Rooms in the resorts are several hundred dollars a night. But? No worries, we stayed at the Imperial Palace.

the Imperial Palace is right across from Caesers on the Strip, but it costs about a third of what the surrounding places do. It's a dump, for sure, and the casino floor is very old-Vegas. Their selling point is their "Dealertainers," card dealers who double as celbrity impersonators. They are truly awful. It was a fun game to try to guess who they were supposed to be, and then wait for them to belt out a number for confirmation. I applaud their acceptance of diversity and color, age, and taste-blind casting. Are you a 50-year old Philipino woman who wants to pretend to be Christina Aguilara, complete with a tight shirt cut all the way down to your navel? No problem! Are you and old blond lady with an inner Lionel Richie? Welcome! The most disturbing thing we saw in the whole trip was actually in the Dealertainer pit, where we saw Faith Hill dealing cards to a woman who very clearly had a strong case of down syndrome. Yikes.

Again, cheap, no bed bugs, and aside from the very loud construction on the next door room early Friday morning, the Imperial Palace was just what we needed.

And? The view:





We wandered around, looking at fishies (Caesers), drinking (buy beer at a store, it's so much cheaper and you can get decent beer, which is not available in the casinos and bars), watching circus freaks (Planet Hollywood), and collecting "escort" cards. We realized that the card passer-outers take delivery of replenishment cards from a guy who goes by on a bicycle. Very efficient!




Here, we discovered the secret source of the porn cards... they grow on porn bushes of course! those guys must have spent all day laboring in the hot sun picking the crops.




Friday night, we went to see a show. We saw Fashionistas, and it was everything you could want from a trashy Las Vegas show. Silly, self-consciously naughty, and with a soundtrack that ranged from Lords of Acid to Led Zeppelin. WTF?


and then? ENDUROCROSS!!!!
Over at the Orleans Arena, we tossed down another six-pack and got noisy in time for the races. Pictures don't really do it justice, but here are a few:








yes, that is a water crossing. And yes, that is a trials bike in the back. One kid from Gilroy on a trials bike beat a bunch of big names on "real" bikes in an early heat.

Unlike road racing, Endurocross is not boring. I know! Really!
Constant action, constant crashing, a lot of passing, and you really don't know what is going to happen until the checkered flag comes down.

If water crossings, tires, and boulders aren't enough stupidity, they upped the ante by running one race in the dark. Srsly! Baja Designs was a sponsor and put one of their headlights on each dirtbike, and each rider had a little helmet light as well. During an early lap, one guy's headligh fell right off, and he continued to finish, and WIN. Just with his teensy helmet light. Basically, he won blind. Awesome.

Video of said dark race:








Sunday morning, we went to the Wynn for their ginormous buffet. The line was super long, but we had beer. Then we paid through the nose and stuffed ourselves with food and bottomless champagne before heading out to the airport.

OKAY.
Let's review. If you get hit by a train, it is your fault.
We can assume that the train did not swerve to hit you.
We can assume that it's obvious to, oh, pretty much everyone else, that a train is coming.
We can assume that, especially as a full-grown-adult, you are responsible for knowing that getting hit by a train will *hurt*

SAN FRANCISCO - Nine siblings and step-siblings of a man killed by a commuter train are suing the operator of the commuter rail service for alleged negligence in a wrongful death case, according to documents filed in federal court.

Jorge Guillermo Avila, 58, was running alongside the southbound Caltrain arriving at the San Bruno station when he was struck on July 24, 2005. Avila was rushed to San Francisco General Hospital, where he died. Investigators have ruled the San Francisco man's death an accident.

Avila's siblings and step-siblings are seeking $47,079 for medical expenses and $12,319 to cover burial and funeral costs in addition to unspecified damages for loss of love, companionship and solace, according to the lawsuit.

...

The siblings argue that passenger walkways at the San Bruno station were dangerous and defective and allowed pedestrians to walk too close to approaching trains. According to court documents, Avila died due to the negligence of the Caltrain operator, including failure to provide adequate warning signs.

Seriously, WTF, people?

Picture from the Chronicle


This outrages me.

I am not a boat specialist, so maybe someone else can explain to me why the hell freighters are always running into shit and then dumping their oil loads with the slightest puncture in their hulls? Is it necessary to design these things such that the water is separated from 58,000 gallons of oil by a thin sheet of tissue paper?

When I read the initial report, this was a minor incident. A day later, it became clear that that had been absolute bullshit. This is a MASSIVE spill, in a very delicate enclosed marine environment. I just can't believe this is right here in our backyard. Where we have walked on many occasions to observe and enjoy these very birds.

As the past few years we've been making an increasing habit of visiting the marine birds, this depressed me terribly. The Bay had been changing right in front of our eyes-- just in the past few years, the life there had really taken off. It seemed the birds and wildlife had been making a comeback, and then some dipshit with a recent history of running ships aground in the Bay Area runs a freighter into the Bay Bridge? Like it was a tight spot? No one has run into these towers in the 70 years the bridge has been open!

The birds and marine life we have been lucky enough to keep in the Bay Area are so delicate, and so beautiful, and so needed... If we can't design boats better, why the hell are we floating them into such a dense habitat?

Not that I think we couldn't design boats better. I just think no one wants to. Except, maybe the birds want us to?

Old Gold Mountain

As I type this out, I’m on a flight from Denver to Austin, for a training thing at our Austin office. I love traveling, and I like Austin, but right now? I do NOT have time for this.

I’m of course falling behind in my two classes. My Intro to Networking class is well-organized and easy-to follow, but the subject matter is dry, and the text is absolutely terrible. I do the work and the reading, but don’t have the time and drive to really do the background studying and extra effort to really *learn* this stuff. But just having a basic knowledge and vocabulary will be a good start, so I’m glad I’m taking this class.

The Macroeconomics class, on the other had, is a complete mess. The instructor can’t keep anything straight. Now I’m just trying to get through it with a relatively respectable finish.

And?

As of Tuesday, I have an offer letter in hand for my continued employment. This is a huge weight off of my mind, as of course, mergers and acquisitions often mean lost jobs. And, I really need, and really, really like, this job. I’m hoping to stick around for at least a few years, for several reasons, some of which are obvious (vesting things) but more importantly, I have a lot to learn, and this is the first step into a whole new career. Getting to this point was a big challenge, and involved a stroke of amazing luck, and I did not want to try to hit that combination again. And of course, there’s the team, which I adore. So, in short. I love my job, and I get to keep it at least a little while longer.

And?

After 13 wonderful years, I will be moving away from my beloved adopted hometown. It’s not something I expect anyone who lives in the suburbs to understand at all, but a city like San Francisco is more than a place to live and park my stuff, or have my crash-pad. San Francisco is a lead character in my life. Cities, real cities, function in people’s lives in a way that suburbs cannot. We live in them, our memories, attitudes, habits, and needs become interconnected. We compromise for each other. We create and complete each other. Sometimes we are mad at each other, but we work it out, knowing that we belong. Wandering around on Saturday afternoons, the City offers up secrets to its inhabitants, twisted alleys blanketed in trees, tiny parks overlooking the bridge views, neighborhood bars, a beautiful fountain, or a peek into the living room of its other lovers. These are intimate moments with the city you love. And out in the open, in the crowds, the city holds even more. A walk one morning found a Maori dance in Yerba Buena, and a Chinese Dragon dance a few blocks over in Union Square. The traditions! Just now the city is starting to move toward the frenetic Christmas traditions. All the things I know will come to signal my favorite time of the year: the SPCA’s kittens and puppies in the Macy’s window, the amazing animated displays at Saks, a giant tree in the Square will preside over all manner of craft fairs, from the ugly dental office art to the local crafty types fairs. The streets surrounding Union Square will become a throbbing retail mass, while the in the heart, families from all over the world will stop in the square to quietly admire the tree amidst the chaos.

Two weeks ago, I walked through and found there were free swing dancing lessons there. A few weeks before, free movie screenings.

It’s a dichotomy of living amongst the masses, that we are crammed in to each other and yet this mass feels so private. As I push through the hordes, I feel so calm, so private, so anonymous. Never *alone* but definitely with my own emotional space. Watching the sun come up over the Broadway Tunnel on a morning walk through my neighborhood, I see the cars zipping by below, streams of headlights, each with a private story inside. Here we all are together, crammed in, enjoying our solitude.

And now to think of leaving, the history of memories, smells, sights, tastes…

The cable car home from work, up through the fog on Nob Hill as we approached Grace Cathedral.

Sitting with my sketchbook out on the rocks past the cave at the Sutro Baths

The Ferry Building on a sunny weekend morning, feeding the seagulls buttery pastries, then retiring to the park across the street to visit the parakeets

Yakety-Yak coffee house, now gone, where I produced a fashion show, including the night before of getting a stinky Irish art student to completely decorate the walls in a cave-like collage.

The walk home from King Street Garage after stopping off at 2am and breaking up with a boyfriend.

The old Trocadero… the riot police… the shooting… the shows… riding home with a few coworkers afterward to stop in a greasy spoon in the Tenderloin at 4am

The giant rats that used to be at the Powell Street Turnaround area at night

Going cruising through the Tenderloin to check out the hookers, before they swept all the cool ones

Hiking out to the Presidio, drinks in hand

Parades, street fairs, cultural events. All the time, everywhere you look.

The Easter Morning Ride to Mount Tam, well before sunrise, mobs of motorcyclists waiting at their start points to join the fray as we proceed to Marin (the only time I’ll go)

The walk through Alamo Square at night, among the ornate Victorians

Being attacked by a squirrel in the park in the rain, and the quails inching slowly away from us

Following James up the road through the fog to emerge to the Sutro Tower and Twin Peaks lookout

Everything. All the time. And almost all of my memories of the last 13 years.

Sadly, the city couldn’t keep us. Paul’s career is in the South Bay, and mine appears to be there as well, at least for now. The commute was killing him.

Given our different tastes and needs, downtown city life is not going to work for us as a couple, so we’ve found a decent compromise in an area that is at least connected by transit to what I need. The new place is two blocks from a Caltrain station, so I can come back when I want, but also situated very close to our jobs so we’ll be able to enjoy our time and stop wasting so much time and mental energy lanesplitting our combined 150 miles each day. Being near each other will be not only lovely, but convenient, and free us to pursue things we’ve been shoving aside for a long time. I can’t believe I stopped sewing some years ago. But maybe I needed to stop for a while. Somehow the idea of sewing while Paul is nearby seems fantastical to me, like a weird domestic dream I never could have imagined.

The new place is in probably the most walkable city-esque part of the South Bay, next to Caltrain, and with plenty of restaurants and stores nearby, which is an ideal compromise of what we each need.

And I can’t wait, though part of me wishes to prolong my time in my hometown. Now I look forward to many days sitting at home pursuing my hobbies and studies while knowing that Paul is in the room next to me, that we can be nearby and create a new home and new favorites and new memories together. I don’t expect Mountain View to ever be the leading love-interest character that San Francisco was, that’s not what the suburbs are for. But now I’ll have space to be with my real leading love, and time and space to do the things I haven’t been able to do in the past couple of years.

Don’t ever expect me to love the South Bay though. I was raised there, and I know what it’s about. It’s a place to hang your hat, park your cars, and keep your stuff. It’s a place to landscape, shop, and plan your kitchen remodel. None of this interests me. I don’t need to park my car, and I don’t need to have space for a third bedroom, and I don’t need a yard to make my own personal park. I don’t want an Applebee’s; I prefer the worn in seat at Orphan Andy’s where we retired after many a night closing nightclubs. The food was crap, but we always knew we’d get the same cranky but genuine service. I don’t want the options, parking, and service of Home Depot, I just want the hardware store that is too small to carry much, but where I remember putting in my special order for 36 locks keyed alike for my senior collection. They never asked, because it probably wasn’t the weirdest thing they’d been asked that day. I could give a shit about your McMansion with a three-car garage. You wouldn’t need a three-car garage if you didn’t live in a wasteland, and you wouldn’t need all those extra rooms if you didn’t have to fill your life with crap to make up for the lack of substance and culture.

It’s the quiet moments I’ll miss the most. Most people respond to my hometown with “there’s so much going on there” or “I hate it; there’s no place to park.” “Too many people, not enough space” They don’t know that every Tuesday night returning from Mandarin class, raccoons would scurry across my path on Church Street, and they don’t know the glory of Delores Park on a summer weekend. That I can walk 30 minutes and see starfish, an overlook of the bay from a remote bench in a national park, wild parrots (not where you think). Every so often, you let something show, a little flash of ankle: a sunken ship off Ocean Beach, an earthquake shack, a grave hiccupped from your depths (weren’t they all moved?), Lotta’s Fountain, some twisted metal unearthed at Land’s End... Memories of all the great people that loved you. All the memories of my life forming in random places. (will anyone discover them a hundred years from now?) That just there, I broke a boy’s heart, four hundred feet away, mine was broken too. In that grocery aisle, in that intersection. That’s where I decided I would never put up with that shit, ever again. There, I forgave someone smaller than myself. There, I got good news, and behind that corner, I cried…

All this time, I saw our future together, but it isn’t meant to be. Besides, I remember when Willie Brown sold you like a cheap whore. I felt bad for you then, but now it just gets worse. It’s not your fault. Your spirit is still there, but hidden in quiet places the tourists never see. They criticize you because they don’t know you for who you are. You’re right to hide it, keep some for yourself and those who are willing to make the effort. They love you for all the wrong reasons, but you coyly keep something for yourself. Hopefully you’ll keep a little something for me when I come to be with you again. And I hope I will, but we never know where our lives will lead. I couldn’t have guessed this path, and I don’t know yours, but I’ll always carry the Old Gold Mountain with me, and the part of you that is shared by all your many lovers, over the years, over the centuries.

PMP

I need to pursue professional development programs, ie: PMP Project Management Certification

or other good trainings and certifications


I'm looking for input from someone who has their PMP, about where to start, best paths, good books or classes.

Please to advise.

Whew!

Letter in hand, I still have a job. Mergers and Acquisitions are stressful. As of today, I am on-board! Yays!

I love this job, and want to keep it for a long time!

Ya vote! Y tu?

In Pakistan, they do not get to vote.

Here, we get to vote, but we don't.

That is pretty sad.

How 'bout Now?

Is it Christmas yet?


thanks god someone is tracking this for me.