Thursday, March 27, 2008

Wedding Poisoning

I realize they make money off of making me stressed

I felt like we got off to a roaring start, getting decisions made, calling down tent people, caterers, shopping for rings, getting things printed and sent! Oh MY! You've gotten so much done! Then, a lull.

I found a ring I was pretty set on, after being told it could be made in a different metal. Then finding out it couldn't be made in the metal I want, and really? Only available in metals that cost real money. I'd rather pay the artist for their time and talent than the metal they use, but we'll find out today whether I'm back to square one on this one. I'm holding my judgment until I get the final price quote. Paul? Found his ring already. Smart boy.

We found a caterer, about whom we just know he's ben doing this a long time and is a straight-forward, no fuss kind of guy. Food is the single most expensive part of this shindig, and with good reason, I suppose. We really like to eat! Having made a decision on a caterer, we now get to met and plan the details. What will we eat?

There's this whole industry built around weddings, which is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it makes it easy to get direction on what needs to be done next, and easy access to resources to get it done. On the other hand, it is there to sell you on all sorts of crap you don't need, at ridiculous prices, and make you stressed out in the process. For instance, six months to go and you haven't gotten a photographer lined up? For shame! Aren't you planning on making *Out Of Town Bags* to leave at the hotel rooms of people who are coming from out of town? You ARE going to take Engagement pictures, video and pre-and post wedding pictures (including getting all dressed up in dress and all, a day before the wedding to take pics at several locations around town), right? I'm supposed to be convinced that instead of one big overpriced wedding cake, I should consider individual mini tier-cakes for each guest. Totally.

To answer any questions you might have, and properly set expecations in advance:
  1. I do need to find a photographer. Yikes.
  2. Out of Towners will be lucky if I give them a map. By email.
  3. We are not taking engagement pictures, video, or pre-wedding pictures, boudior pictures, trash the dress pictures, or any other, as-yet-unknown-to-me, "hot new trend" photo-racket. We do want photos of the wedding and party, but photographers are $$$, and we will probably rarely look at these things anyway.
  4. I love me some cake. But I prefer eating cake, to looking at it. No icky fondant! yuck!

In poring over wedding-related websites, I have seen some really funny stuff. But if you stare at it too long, it sort of poisons you. Thankfully, I don't have the situation apparently experienced by a lot of other brides-to-be. My family doesn't care what I do, or don't do, and there aren't any "expectations." Everyone already knows I'm an uncivilized lout. We have some guiding principles that are loosely shaping this thing:

  1. People > fanciness. We decided early on that our priority was having everyone present that we could, that we'd cut costs on things that don't matter (flowers, bands, purty cake) rather than guest list (which, unfortunately, seems to be the preferred way to manage costs for a lot of people)
  2. DIY > throw money at it. I like making stuff. Making stuff can be stressful, and it can be fun. Hiring a DJ seems dumb when we can just use an iPod. Results may be great, or they may be super-janky but they'll be *our* results! I will make my dress, and the invitations, and anything else I can find time for. So if they suck, at least you know it's my fault. That smudge you see on the invites? The stitch out of place on my dress? That's me!

We're terribly excited to share this day with the people who mean the most to us. We may skip out on some of the trappings, but hope you'll enjoy this party as much as we plan to!


megan said...

sounds perfect. it's such a freaking racket.

we'd love to help out by providing DIY services for anything you deem low priority. Maggie is quite adept at making a mess with various food substances - could be lovely for -- party favors?

can you use any of these?

or these?

ben said...

You know everyone is going to bring their own cameras to the party anyway and take photos, so one couple I know rigged up a lappy with a camera card reader near the exit and had people drop their digital photos onto the lappy before they left. Instant photos!

Julia said...

I had a pretty nice wedding for $2500. I would be happy to give you the low down on some great places to save $$ and stuff.